Program Director, MFA LR Program
My Head is Too Heavy is an ongoing series documenting my recently acquired chronic illness. Between cognitive and physical changes, I struggle to understand my new reality. Deliberately choosing the imperfect tool of LiDAR scanning apps on my smartphone as my camera, I court the inaccuracies and gaps in information that are created when I scan myself. The resulting 3-D models are a copy of my body and how it inhabits the space of my home, but they also expose the blind-spots, errors and limitations of trying to see oneself. The LiDAR scan is not really two dimensional or three – it sits in between, functioning as an index of the space and a marker of what it cannot see. This surface knowledge seemed such an apt parallel to the surface presentation of so many chronic illnesses to me. These screenshots of a distorted virtual model somehow reveal the hidden symptoms of this illness that are invisible to most but affect me daily. I still look “normal” and it is difficult to convey how profoundly different I feel, at times even to myself.